Stepping off the plane in Nola. Feels like home. I don’t remember feeling that way since, … well… in a long time. Having no choice but to track down and pursue a fugitive that the Marsha’s Service had been looking for the last 2 years meant leaving @PaulSawyer_ for an undetermined time. Sporadic text messages due to the security of this mission have been few and far between. Stretches the limits of a new relationship to say the least. Or maybe that’s just worry on my part which is something not in my nature. I wasn’t prepared for how hard leaving Paul would be. I’ve been use to being on my own since my last break up and had talked myself into never getting close to another man. In the case of Paul Sawyer, wolf and woman had other ideas. (Smirks) Not complaining. Our time together is amazing. We get along great. Compete often. Argue some. Make up.. (Growls) A lot.
(Back to the task at hand) Mission accomplished. Fugitive in custody. Now comes the debriefing with @RickStarkey and typing up the necessary report to be filed at Langley.
I’ll get back into my routine and resume my search for a permanent place here in New Orleans and Paul and I can get back to our routine, the one we’d set before my hasty departure. (Wicked smirk) Not necessarily in that order either. I know he understands how demanding my job can be. I’ve only traveled down this road once before with another. That ended badly and I refuse to even think about that option for Paul and I. As I was before, I have been upfront with Paul but nothing can prepare a person for the practical application of another’s job and the limits, if any, it can stretch a relationship.
(Takes a deep breath while stretching muscles stiff from a long run, a nasty take down and the flight back. Looking around. Smiles and nods) Yep. Feels like home to me.
Looking out at the night sky, back pressed against the porch rail my thoughts not on work as they usually are when I’m away from the office. This week has been incredibly long and wrought with one cluster fuck after another, yet that is not where my mind is.
Instead it’s on a certain man whose intense stare and sexy smile can make me forget my name if I’m not careful. Paul Sawyer the man, amazing cook, fun loving to be around and competitive beyond limits. When I first met him I was sure he would be a problem for me in the task I have been sent here to do. My job as a Federal Marshal has often times made it hard for me to pursue a relationship with anyone. Truth be told, until coming to New Orleans, I’ve never been into any relationship that didn’t call for no ties and on again off again company from that person. Sex was a side benefit, take it or leave it. That is not to say I don’t enjoy sex, it’s just not a priority in this stage of my life or career.
Funny how things change. When I’m around Sawyer, every nerve ending in my body and my wolfs is tuned to alert status. At times I have to use all my will power to keep my beast from taking what she wants and that’s Sawyers wolf. The woman I am is a little more restrained. We, as humans have the capacity to over think situations where the beasts in us cut through all the emotions of our humans and just go for what they know is right. You often times find yourself fighting your own self. The beast insists she “go for it” while I insist there’s a need to “hold back” the beast growls out “to hell with that” and the human in me wins with “no not yet”
Which all leads me back to this very night and the decision I have yet to make. After several days of intense texts back and forth between Sawyer and I all geared to one specific climax, here I sit, phone in hand staring down at the last text received from him.
@KashmiraQuinn_ (txt) That is every bit my intention. When Quinn. Just say when.
…. and the human stares down at the phone, thumb poised on the keyboard but not typing out a single word while the words formed over my lips and spoken out into the night are:… “No, not yet”
and still, what seems like hours later, my thumb still rubs over the keyboard of my phone…